Weaving the threads of friends and family...Summer 2013

Motel breakfast on the road!

This is a long blog so if you choose, bring a cup of tea and meander with me as I try to make some sense of our summer vacation.

Weaving together the travels and the many people that we saw is a story that I hope to tell, in some way exploring the interconnections and many parts of my life. It will not be chronological and may leave out people (not on purpose) as I attempt to make some sense of it all. I think the bottom line is the fact that I am a networker and part of the fun for me is the organizing and planning before the actual gatherings. I know it is a gift that I have – to connect my family with my friends, and my friends with my family and each other. How wonderful for me to share all of this with Richard and now to mix our friends with both of our families. This was the essence of this summer.

Frankie in Chapel Hill

charlie....in chapel hill

Having two months to travel makes it all possible. I need to note as well that we have another wonderful community in San Miguel that I would love to connect with all of the US folks, and some have already met. I will hope to ponder for myself some questions as to why community is so important to me and at the outset….I would say that it is not so much the community itself, but its interconnections that is important to me. It is like making a quilt, or a weaving….start out with one part and then another. Alone each square is great, but when combined is magnified greatly. From a quote that Richard uses often…Shared joy is double joy and shared sorrow is half sorrow.

Travel from one place to the next

So we begin driving north with car packed with clothing, a few food items and popcorn. It is our ritual to eat a bag of popcorn on long travel days…it is something we do and both enjoy and it helps to pass some of the time. We also love to have a book on tape and this year we listened to “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks” – a great book combining science with history and human interest – highly recommended by both of us. We are vagabonds and proud of it. I know it is not the way for everyone and we understand that. Through this lifestyle, I can notice the things that are important to me. I always have more with me than I need, and I am working towards having less and less but accepting the idea that it is OK for me to have some of my favorite things – clothing, jewelry, shoes….it is OK. I often berate myself saying that I should travel with less….”should” by whose standards. I am working hard on allowing myself to be me – no one else, and that “me” is who I am! In each home, whether for the night, or for the week, or the month I find my reading/writing spot, ritual of tea in the morning (Richard brings it to me), my space for whatever stuff I have – always in some organized manner for myself. This is the ritual part that allows me to be able to live this lifestyle. I think if I were not the organized person that I am, it would be nearly impossible. Richard has much less need to have his “stuff” in the same place and always to know where everything is…so we learn and lean on each other. I do not think we could live this lifestyle alone – it takes two of us to make it happen this way.

What is home?

What is home? Clearly to us it may be different than yours – it is a place where we can have all our stuff – whatever that might be at the moment – now…a few suitcases and bags. In Mexico, – a bit more (in storage as I write) and of course our “home” in Carrboro, NC - a building that we own. This year we spent time and money fixing it and getting it ready for the next renters. Is it our home? Our stuff is there – in the garage (we managed to reorganize all of space in the garage to give the new upcoming tenants 1/3 of the space. The last tenants had none.) Sometimes when I see how most of the rest of the world lives I feel a bit “odd”, but in reality it lasts for just a few moments and then I am so grateful that we have the flexibility and love of travel which allows us to keep exploring new dimensions of ourselves and the world. I suppose, like organizing the interconnections of friends and family, the challenge of planning our future travels and house sitting arrangements give me a thrill as well. Where will we be next year at the same time? Quien sabe? (Who knows?)

Family/Friends – is there a difference??

Most of the family at Cape Cod

Every year I think of someone, or a few people who are important in my life – I would visit them in a hospital for sure, and sadly would probably go to a service for them if they were no longer here in this world. I decide because of this to visit them while still alive – and this year it included several people who have been important in my or our lives. Ken in NJ (over 90 y old) was the accountant that I worked with for 18 years on LI…we spent so many days together and for me he was always a person that understood me and listened, especially during my very difficult years. We have exchanged Christmas cards for the last 30+ years but not seen each other. It was lovely to meet him again after so many years. It was a moment in time and special for me to see that relationships can hold over so many years – with no real knowledge of either of our day to day lives we were back again as good friends. In the same day we made two other visits – cousins Bob and Ellen in their beautiful home. Here we were with family that we do not see often but again – always able to go back to a place of comfort in conversation. Our lifestyles are so very different, yet we were able to enjoy stories of the various travels of all of us. Later we were off to Herb who lost his lovely bride Milli this year. I am not sure what to call them – family or friends….Herb worked with my dad in the 1950’s on LI and we have remained friends with them for all these years. Sharing the sadness with Herb was a beautiful thing as he was comfortable with us, sitting on his porch, sharing stories and crying. I was moved to tears myself, especially when entering the house with no Milli. We had visited them both several times on our travels from NC through NJ. So, it was quite a day, combining these 3 important visits AND the driving in places we had not been before. It was my day of highest anxiety because of the city traffic – now realizing that we need to own a GPS for days like that. We are both so used to walking everywhere and not needing a car – and here we were driving everywhere in the traffic around NYC.

Herman in NYC (going on 101 years old)

Two days later we met Herman in NYC – a cousin at 100+ years of age. What a treat for all 3 of us. He had such great stories of Granny and life in Germany before the war. I keep thinking that one of us should visit him with a tape recorder or video to capture stories we will never have again. Our visit to NYC also gave us the chance to see Max (nephew of Richard) from N. Ireland who is now living in NYC – making his way in the world. A contrast from the over 80, 90, 100 age group to this 20+year old. As the oldest in my immediate family, but without children, I still question my own age – and glad that our friends/family encompass 8 mos old to 100+ during our 2 month visit in the US.

"WVOGEL" coming to you live from
Brewster, MA!  Orion arranged
this skit including all the f/f.

Laurel and Marylee at Moosewood
Restaurant in Ithaca, NY

So… is there a difference between family and friends. The only thing I can say on this is that I look at the difference ONLY as blood or marriage as family and the rest are friends. However, in my opinion there is no difference as our family are all our friends and our friends feel like family – all those that we saw on this trip – as they represent people who are close to me in so many ways, throughout my whole life. Henceforth, I will use f/f to mean family/friend. I have had conversations with f/f's about “What is a friend” – and, I suppose there are different levels of friendship. For me, an f/f is someone I can depend on in many situations, who accepts me unconditionally, whom I accept unconditionally and who I like to spend time with. You all know who you are – I saw you this summer.

weaving my mother's side of the family
with my father's side - in Boston, MA.

My "sibs" - I love you guys!

Regarding family…this summer’s travels have connected us to many parts of our family – nearly every one of my family including my siblings and all their kids and grandkids were with us at Cape Cod and Trumansburg, NY. We have the cutest little new grand nephews – Hudson and Nathan – both born this past year. I am grateful that all my family likes being together and I don’t even know how many years we have been gathering as a family in the summer. The tradition was started over 30 years ago by my grandmother Boma who took us all somewhere during the summer.

The 3 children of Lotte -
Rolf, Yvonne and Daisy

This tradition was maintained by my father, and now it is us 4 kids who are keeping it going. Soon it will be time for the next generation. From my perspective as the oldest in this family I love that we have this time for fun, fellowship, exercise and delicious food. This year we were joined by cousins that most of us had never met – Daisy and her daughter Rana from Australia; Rolf from Switzerland and Yvonne and her husband Asher from Israel. Everyone mixed together so well and now we have connections in other parts of our world. I had many thoughts during our week of the Cape that both our parents, Erwin and Lotte, were with us in spirit. (They were first cousins, born only several days apart who grew up in Germany as brother/sister, more than cousins. Both their fathers were brothers, and both their mothers were sisters!) In part this came together through the building of our family tree – we are all part of the “Gutenstein Family” from Frankfurt, Germany. At one point there were 16 children and many of these children had families. Throughout the last few months there have been many emails from members of this tree….connecting this family together. This is again where the idea of “What is a family” comes from. There are people connected to us by blood but who we do not know in all parts of the world. Some are still “friends to come”! Just this morning I was writing to someone from this large tree, Ricardo, who lives in Buenos Aires. We will plan to meet him when we go to Patagonia in December/January.

With Brucie in Wilmington, NC

Joanna, Stephan, Sophia and Julian
in their pool on Long Island

And, we also spent time with many of Richard’s family – Long Island and in Wilmington, NC. We also keep in phone contact with many others of his family. I see as I am writing, that because my family meets together in one spot as a ritual each year, the connections seem greater as a larger unit but in reality, we do spend good quality time with family when in small groups as well.

Other f/f connections are Marilyn’s (Alan’s wife) – many of her extended family live in Trumansburg/Ithaca and we were able to spend time with them as well – a gathering for her niece Nancy’s birthday brought everyone together for a night. Their family does not need the ritual once a year reunion as they are all living in close proximity and therefore are all part of their larger community. In Ithaca is also the “sharing supper” f/fs – a group of friends who gather every week in the summer for dinner at Lake Cayuga. We have joined them at many times, when we lived in Ithaca and when we visit – more friends that are like family.

Clinic friends

Back to friends again for a moment – I had the chance to meet with 4 girlfriends that I worked with for many, many years on Long Island through the 70’s and 80’s. We connected through Facebook and met at a bar for drinks and it was if we were back in time. Each of us had different memories of our work life and all the others we worked with and we shared laughs and stories of this life together. Now as the connections were made I am enjoying even more the visits into their lives through Facebook. This visit was on the same day as we were visiting with long time f/f Janet and staying with her in Huntington, NY. We reconnect each time we are together as if we had seen or talked yesterday.

Janet in Huntington

on the porch at Michele's

H.S. f/f Joan and Nancy

Other f/f connections of the past were meeting two of my good high school friends in Boston. The fact that we graduated 49 years ago is not even imaginable – we are still kids and girlfriends to each other. This is another example of the difficulty of distinguishing between friends and family. Joan, Nancy and I have seen each other once each year for many of the last years and hopefully will continue this tradition.

In Chapel Hill we attended the Community Church of CH Unitarian Universalist which was our “home” for many years – I worked there, and it was our main community of friends. It felt good to go back and reconnect with so many that we know – reminding me how important community is.

with Pauline/Michael and Nancy/Rick in
Niskayuna, NY

Here is another great weaving together of f/f. I was with my quilt ladies from Chapel Hill - "The Worker Bees" in January and we worked on a quilt to donate to an organization that my sister Nancy works with in Albany - "Camp Erin". This summer we finished the quilt and I brought it to Cape Cod for the camp this fall - weaving together service and f/f's. Speaking of service - many of my "peeps" helped to support me in several of my San Miguel projects - Libros sin Fronteras and the gathering of fabric for the Mariposa project. THANKS to you all.

The quilt for "Camp Erin"

There were several difficult moments this summer for some of our friends. Several days after leaving Mexico we heard the terrible news about our friend Antoineta’s son Eddie in SMA. He was hit by a train and after several weeks of surgery he died. It was hard to be away from the community during this time but we were included in many emails about what was happening. This was a true example of a good reason for a strong community which came together to help them with love and financial support. There are continual reminders of the importance of community during times of both joy or sorrow.

Our prayers are still with a good friend Joyce and her husband Ralph on Long Island. We visited Joyce in the hospital the night before her heart surgery and she is slowly recovering many days later from several complicated procedures. Our friendship goes back over 30 years and we have traveled and visited with them on many continents. We love you Joycie!

How can I tie this together??? 

All I can say is that my past has continued into my present and hopefully my present will continue into my future. This is possible only through the witness of friends that form a thread throughout my life. May I always be a good friend and as I am, will know that my friends will all be my community as the months continue to years. THANK you my "peeps" for traveling with us, supporting us and loving us.

Ocracoke Lighthouse

January to June in San Miguel de Allende, MX

My painting of Guanajuato

I am writing this blog to review these months of 2013 in San Miguel. We have been here for a long time and as it feels like "home", I don't feel the urge to write about it as a travel blog. However, I do want to remember the many great things we did and this is one way for me to keep our adventures in one spot. Mostly I will include pictures with captions of some of the events of this time.

North Carolina friends at dinner in SMA. Barbara Rodbell
her son Paul visited Barbara, David and us.

Church in Queretero

We did a side trip to Queretero this year, but otherwise stayed put in town. We had a 4 month house sit from Jan - April, and then have been in another lovely home this month of May.

Cowbirds in formation called "murmuring" at
the Landeta

Happy in SMA

Quite a sight to see!

Tomorrow we are off to the US for 2 months and hopefully will see many of you, our friends and family who are reading this blog. Now we live in two worlds and are always happy to leave one for the other, and then happy to return as well. We are so lucky and I am continually grateful for this life together that we are leading.

Jacarandas in bloom - amazing each year

Mural art in Guadalupe - an area of SMA

More mural art

A visit to SMA from my ol' HS friend Demetra George - with puppets in parade

at the birthday party of our friend Jo Sanders

My English students - a party together 

Richard and Lupita

Our life is full with our usual activities of yoga, Spanish, art, friends and walking up and down the cobblestone hills of town. I have also been working again for a Professor at the University of NC - administrative and proofreading work. I feel good about being able to fit this into a lifestyle and am keeping up my working skills.

We have been very involved in volunteer activities this whole year. I have started a project with a few friends called "Libros sin Fronteras" which is a reading project for young and old - both Mexicans and expats - reading the same book in either English or Spanish. In November, the author Francisco Jimenez will come and we will hold several events for those who have read the book - it is a lot of work, but a rewarding. Please visit our indiegogo site (and see a short film with me in it - 3 min) and please, consider making a donation to this project.  

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/panchito-project-libros-sin-fronteras

Richard has written several database and accounting programs for various not-for-profit organizations here in town and recently went to the local orphanage to teach the young boys juggling. He has also taken charge of the computer delivery program to the University girls who receive scholarships from Mujeres en Cambio - an  organization that we are both involved with.

Richard making juggling balls for
the boys at the orphanage at Mexicito

New friends - Daniela and Leila - part of our Libros sin Fronteras project
 andthe new leaders of the Mariposa Project

Winding down 2012 in Guanajuato on our anniversary

Colorful Guanajuato

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to us (22 years married and 25 together!) and greetings and happy new year to all. I realized that 5ive months have passed since I updated my blog - surely not because we have not had things to do - just because we are now living a "kind-of-regular life" in San Miguel and so most of the pictures have been seen before. Many of you have been kept up on facebook but here you will find it all in a nutshell. I am reviewing the last few months, mostly for myself and for Ricardo so when we want to remember what we did when, I can find it somewhere.

Now I am writing from a little casita in the city of Guanajuato which is the capitol of the state of Guanajuato where SMA is located. We had visited many times before, but never over night. It is a lively, bustling city (small) with many very colorful buildings. We are glad to be here and now it is on our list for a month sometime in the future.

The nearby Presa - only 10 min walk
from our casita in GTO (Guanajuato)

Visits from our NC friends Howard and Lily
who are in SMA for two months and came to
GTO yesterday...fun to explore new places

Sunset at Playa Blanca

Two young ladies at Casa Hogar - Santa Julia
where Ricardo and I volunteered with these girls
to make printed greeting cards for Christmas.

Sunrise on the camino

Our shadows on the Camino

I  

Hay bales on the camino 

Tolantogo - amigos

The pools at Tolantogo

The river at Tolantogo

Me - in my acting debut

Vegetarian Paella - after our trip to Spain

Reunion with old friends in July
 - Mary Jane Hall - Long Island, NY

Good friend Janet Walerstein
in July, NY

Joan Fenton - my mother's BEST friend
when they were 10 years old in NYC - and
her daughter Suzy Bond - our cousin.
My mother introduced Joan to her cousin Karl
and they were married. Such a wonderful
time to be together at Cape Cod and hear
good stories about our mother when
she was a young lady.

We spent the week before Christmas at the beach - Playa Blanca which is just south of Zihuataneo (near Barra de Potosi). It was a very relaxing beach holiday with ocean, pool, walks on the beach and hanging with our friends - Barbara/David and Cindy/Ravi.

Richard and I continue to do many volunteer activities and one very special one was working with the young girls at the local orphanage in SMA teaching them stencil printing - to make holiday cards to sell.
I have been attending a painting class at the Casa de Cultura which is for Mexicans and at the moment (when my friend Marcia is not here) I am the only "gringa". I have worked on a series of 5 paintings of my memories (from photos) of the Camino de Santiago and here are 3 for you to see. I hope to be able to take classes again in the new year.

In October we went to Tolantongo with Barbara and David - fantastic hot springs and aqua blue river about 4 hours from SMA. Again, a great place to relax. We keep discovering that Mexico has so many special places to visit.

August and September were spent getting back into the SMA life - entertaining, Spanish classes, yoga and for me - acting classes. It was a year to attempt a new creative endeavor but not sure that it is for me. I enjoyed a pantomime class and hope to take a series of them in 2013 but the memorizing part of acting is not for me - a little too stressful. I figure if I am going to spend time memorizing - I might as well do it in Spanish for now. I am glad I gave it a try.

Our summer was spent visiting our many friends and family from NC to NY to MA and the usual Vogel gathering at Cape Cod. Since our last gathering in 2012 we have two new family members - Ethan Ginsburg and Hudson Henry Wu. I cannot wait to meet them in July of 2013. I also had a chance to visit with some of my great ol' girlfriends who are living on LI. I love that each year we have a few folks that we have not seen that we can connect with.

As we go forward to 2013 may I take this time to thank all of you who are part of our lives. We are enriched by each person we know and are grateful to travel this life together with you. With love from Ricardo and I.

Yes, it is possible to walk the Camino de Santiago as a vegan (and gluten and sugar-free)!

Many fruit and veggie markets along the way

I am a 65 year old woman and along with my husband walked the Camino de Santiago in May/June 2012. I have been vegan for over 15 years and before leaving for Spain I often checked on various websites to find information about being vegan on the Camino…but to no avail. It is for this reason that I decided to keep notes of what I ate during our trip to remind myself how it was possible, though difficult. Because I have a minor problem with wheat and other gluten products, I was also very conscious of the details of how I remained this way for 99% of my Camino.

For me, the desire to be vegan stems from three different “routes”. First is for the benefit to our planet, secondly are the health benefits for me and thirdly for the lives of animals. I practice yoga regularly and believe in “ahimsa” which means “do no harm”. This fits with my spiritual practice and is important for me. Also important for me is to let others live as they wish so my intention here is to provide information to those who are interested in traveling the Camino this way and not to profess that this is the “only” way. You see, one of the main lessons that we both learned on the Camino is that it represents life itself and that there is no “one” way to do this. Each of us needs to find ones own special “way” and though planning is important, letting go is also important. Trying to control oneself or others at all times is impossible.

Spain, in general, is a meat and fish eating country and for sure this was true in the north. Many people did not have any concept at all of what the words vegetarian and vegan mean (a bit like 15 years ago in the USA). I realized early on that I needed to ask many questions in restaurants before choosing items. My level of Spanish was sufficient for understanding all food labels and this would have been difficult without the language. One interesting note about buying vegetables in stores…many would not allow us to choose and bag our own vegetables. One has to wait for a store employee to choose them and weigh and bag them. Their reason is that they do not like the food to be handled by many people to prevent bruising of the fruits/vegetables. They also want to reduce the transmission of germs. Many of the stores had beautiful displays.

Here are the basics of our eating on the Camino:

Restaurant in a big city
 (I don't remember which one)

Padron (peppers with salt) ...
we loved these!

• ·         Most days I started off eating fruit and/or 1 or 2 rice or corn cakes for breakfast with a cup of tea. The most common activity for most pilgrims is to stop for a “café con leche” after 1-2 hours of walking and I would usually have a cup of tea. For those vegans who eat bread there was usually bread or toast available in most of the “bars” where one eats and or drinks all day. Juice, often fresh, was always available.
• ·         Lunch would usually include nuts, corncakes and fruit. There were a few times during the early days on the camino when there was no option at all and so my “off vegan” moments included what the Spanish call a Spanish tortilla, torta or omelette which consisted of mostly potato, onion and some egg. For me I felt that the protein was important when I did not have any nuts or beans. After several days on the camino I discovered stores that had both nuts and beans – usually lentils and garbanzos and here and there red or other beans. Some might cringe at the following…I put my beans or lentils in little baggies and ate them cold along the way, with my spork. I actually liked this snack, sometime scooped with some endive or lettuce.
• ·         Snacks were nuts, fruit, veggies, beans, corn or rice cakes (bread for Richard), potato chips, occasional dark chocolate (sugar free for me).
• ·         Dinner for most folks was a “Pilgrim’s Meal” – 3 courses including wine or water. These meals always contained fish or meat and for us was not a favorite as we also do not drink alcohol. We did, however, manage and usually had a salad (reminding them to hold the tuna and egg), a vegetable dish (many times was white asparagus or menestre de verduras -vegetable stew). Pasta with tomato sauce or some vegetables was often an option for the pilgrim meals and I did it eat it on a very rare occasion, though it does not sit well in my stomach. In the several cities including Pamplona, Burgos, Leon and Santiago we found vegetarian restaurants and a great vegan restaurant in Burgos. We found vegetarian paella in many restaurants and this was a delicious alternative.
•  However, many nights I concocted our own meals in the many albergues that have kitchens. This usually involved going shopping in the little villages for some vegetables and beans. Using either a stove or microwave I was able to cook delicious meals. There were often some spices or condiments in the albergues that could be used by pilgrims. From time to time I found microwaveable rice in small packets that I served with a hot meal and we often had salads to go with the meals. Richard would enjoy the many breads of Spain which were available in every town.